So. Freakin'. Funny.

True story. Stuff like this only happens to me.

On Sunday, I was at a quasi-thanksgiving lunch with my annoying extended family, many of whom are ignorant, conservative assholes. I ignored most of their conversations, but one caught my attention and I'm still laughing.

One of my cousins started talking to another about rims, which instantly caught my attention--as in, WTF are they talking about?? Well, they were talking about tires, but the things that they were saying just about killed me. First, one cousin explained about how much he had to pay for wide rims, and I snickered. Then the other cousin said how hard it was to fix his rim after the accident. I was cackling at that point, and everyone looked at me like I was nuts. I finally calmed down, but then they started talking about white-walls. I snorted so hard that I nearly deviated my septum.

Hey! Maybe if I do this at every family party, they'll stop inviting me!

Shocked and Sad and Kinda Pissed

As some of you may know, the editor of my novel (and one of my best friends) abruptly cut ties with me last night. I'm completely staggered and confused as to why.

So, out of sadness and anger, I started to pen another story for the blog. I know I should just perservere with the novel, which I will, but while I'm licking my wounds, I'm getting my frustration out with words. I'm not sure if anything's going to come out of this, as I only have a few hundred words, but there's definite possibility. If I go any further, I'll let you know about the story line, but until then, I'll keep it under wraps.

The Portrait by L.M. Somerton

For those of us lucky folks who pre-ordered, L.M. Somerton's first release, The Portrait, is available to download. For those of you who haven't experienced her writing...where have you been? She's working on a blog series right now called Reaching the Edge, which is thrilling and sexy and addictive all at the same time.

So, visit her site, L M Somerton Writes, or go straight *snickers* to Total-E-Bound to purchase the book.

Congratulations on the book! I can't wait to read it and your others that are slated for release within the next few months.

A Little Teaser...

I've decided to feed you guys a teaser from my novel, which is progressing, however slowly. This is what I'm going to be working on. Let me know what you think about it. (FYI it is m/f, non-erotic)

First the blurb:

Damsels and Donors

Book One: Men and Monsters

At thirty-three, interior designer Sofonisba Lind has given up the dream of finding Prince Charming. On a warm night in May, someone watches her from the shadows; a beautiful, sensual stranger who will plunge her into a fairy tale where monsters and men aren't all that they seem, and some damsels in distress don't want to be saved.

Sofie knows that Thad Beckham is hiding something, yet she has never felt more secure than while in his arms. She offers him her heart, but in a moment of passion, the terrifying secret is revealed, and Sofie must decide if her love for the man can overcome her fear of the darkness within him. He says that he is not a killer, and feeds only from donors: beautiful women who willingly give a few pints of their blood in return for the ecstasy of his bite. Thad insists he feels nothing for his donors, and calls them an unfortunate necessity, but can these moments of physical infidelity be forgiven? A compromise is reached, and it seems that her dreams have finally come true, but when her sister, Lex, is hopelessly ensnared in the world of immortals, Sofie's moral compass is shaken, the lines between good and evil are blurred, and she is left wondering if her happily-ever-after was just an illusion.

While Damsels and Donors is a witty account of two sisters teaching vampires about their world, it is also a modern-day fairy tale about jealousy and trust, love and loss, and how to find the strength to make the most difficult sacrifice of all.

Except:

Prologue

He had been with Elsa the night before, and felt worn out. She gave him what he needed, but she expected a lot in return. This time, she had actually begged him to spend the night with her. Every time they were together he had to remind her that it wasn't a relationship. They were just two people getting what they wanted from each other. Maybe it was time to rotate her out of the lineup. He figured he'd check his options when he got back to Boston.

On his way to the car, something caught his eye. The square was still packed with people, but one person stood out: a woman with dark red hair, walking diagonally across the green. There was something about her; a magnetism he couldn't resist. The feeling was so alien that there was a dull ache in his chest which only intensified as she walked further away. He wasn't sure what to do, so he decided to take a picture to preserve the surreal experience. Pretending to read a text, he held his phone up and focused the camera. He would have been satisfied even if he only got a picture of her back, but a second before the shutter clicked, a breeze blew a few strands of her hair loose. She reached to push them from her face, turned and looked in his direction.

Fearing that she'd seen him staring, he ducked behind a newsstand. From there he watched her go into the new restaurant on the corner. The sign on the door said that dinner would be served at eight o'clock. He checked his watch: seven o'clock. Damn. Why was she going in so early? She must work at the restaurant or maybe she knew someone inside. In either case, he was going to have to wait an hour before going in after her. He saw a bookshop to his left. If he sat in the front window, he could watch the door and make sure she didn't leave.

He couldn't let her leave. So at ten past eight, he crossed the street and went into the restaurant. He spied her sitting at the bar in the back of the dining room. When her eyes met his and he heard her heart race, he took the chance. 

Chapter One

Some sacrifices are easy: you give a dollar for the homeless man on the corner, you save the last cookie for your little brother, or you give a few hours of your time at an animal shelter. These things are done almost unconsciously. You give of yourself because you want to be a good person. But what happens if you must make a sacrifice that threatens your morality? If you knew in your soul that what you were about to do was wrong, would you still do it in order to make something else right?

Would you take the life of one person, if it meant saving countless others?

Would you take the life of someone you love, so you could be together forever?

Would you forgive physical infidelity, if no emotional infidelity was involved?

One year ago, if you had asked me those questions, I would have answered without a second thought.

"No."

"No."

"No."

But things have changed. I have changed. If you were to ask me those questions right now, I know what my answers would be.

"Yes."

"Yes."

"Yes."

And you would be horrified, scandalized…until I told you my story.

Let me tell you my story.

Translator?

I meant to put it out there: If anyone reading my work speaks German and notices any errors, will you let me know? College was a long, long time ago! Thanks a bunch.

Chapter 11 is up!

Miracle of Miracles! The final chapter of Remember Him has just been posted. Use the link on the right sidebar or click here. I cannot wait to hear what you think! I hope I don't let any of you down.

I'm glad so many people have enjoyed and do enjoy my work. It's time, though, for me to take a sabatical from VampWriter and focus on finishing my novel. It had been my life for almost two years, and it's time to go back to it.

I may post shorter stories periodically, and I'll definitely still be following and commenting on all of the amazing blogs out there. I'll also continue on Facebook and tumblr.

I will be coming back to VampWriter eventually, but I'm not sure of timing.

Thanks again for all of your support. It means a lot.


-- Kazy

Next chapter's coming sooner than I thought.

So, my second wind has kicked in (perfect timing at 1 a.m., no?) and I've been writing up a storm. It's so random when my brain decides to be creative. So, Chapter 11's probably going to be up sometime on Friday.

Snag.

I have been knocked on my ass by a sinus infection. I swear my skin hurts. I don't want to rush chapter 11, so I'm going to rest instead of writing a lot.

Thanks for all of your wonderful comments and understanding.

It's coming soon...

Chapter 11 is already almost twice as long as chatper 10, and I could break it up, but I can't bring myself to do that. Weather's crappy again tomorrow, so I might have some extra time tomorrow.

Thanks for your patience.

Update on RH 11

I'm still working on it, and it's shaping up to be a doozy. It'll be my longest chapter so far, with lots of goodies.

Proud of my state.

Such good news!

Ack!!! *gagging*

A skunk just sprayed somewhere in my neighborhood and it has permeated my house! Oh that's so gross.

Update

Evening, all.

Having to do a little research, so things are going a little slower than I'd planned. I'm not sure of a time frame yet, but I'll keep you posted.

Ch. 11 sneak peek

Afternoon, all.

Yeah. Where did all that time go? My parents took the kids yesterday, my hubby went to work this morning and I woke up at 2 this afternoon and had no idea what the hell was going on. Ever have that feeling? I guess NyQuil worked a little too well for me.

Anyway, since then, I've been up and doing some writing. I'm having a ton of fun with the dialogue between Carter and Alder. The latter, I think still expected his "pet" to be completely submissive, but... that ain't gonna happen.

Chapter 11 preview:

A tall, lanky vampire walked toward me with his hand extended, smiling like an idiot. He said, "Willkommen, Herr Denwright. Ich heisse Klaus. Wenn Sie etwas brauchen, bitte nachfragen."

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Blah, blah, blah, achteshingening dingaling." I looked at Alder and said, "All right, Adolf. What'd he say?"

Alder growled quietly. "For Christ's sake! The first thing you are doing is starting German lessons."

"Excellent!" I said with mock excitement. "What's the German for, 'Is that your penis? I thought it was a toothpick.'"

A hand wrapped around my throat and my head was smashed into the stone wall. Alder leaned in and hissed, "Listen, pet! I'm not going to be very happy with you if you don't stop all of this right now."

I could have reached up right then and ripped his throat out, but I controlled the insane urge. No. All I had to do was wait and pray that the customs' agent had called Stefan. If she did call him, it was only a matter of time before this castle came under fire.

And when that happened, heads were going to roll.

My mother rocks!

While I rest, I'll let you all read something I wrote a few days ago:

My mother is always telling me how little she knows, how dumb she is and how she'd never be able to write stories and go to college like I did. The truth is: she's brilliant and she said something to me last week that proves my point.

Her views on religious groups who blame gays and lesbians for every evil in the world:

"Why do all of these crazy, weird groups of idiots--who call themselves Christians, but who wouldn't know the Bible if it smacked them on the forehead--have to be Baptists? They always call themselves Baptists!"

Why is this so profound? Because I was raised a Baptist, and my mother still belongs to that church. However, from the time we were little children, we were taught that different belief systems and lifestyles aren't the enemy. It is not up to us to judge anyone for anything they have been or have done; we should welcome them no matter what they do now or who they are.

In fact, members of our church took in and provided support for a man whose mind was so destroyed by drugs that he had no where else to go. They invited to their suppers and celebrations a gay man who was persecuted by the rest of the town. These are just two examples, proving that this small-town Baptist church, with a congregation of only about fifteen on a good day, should be the model for others.

Unfortunately, as we all know, this is not the case, and the American Baptist Council (ABC) has been horribly tolerant of the lunatics who call themselves Baptists. Because of this fact, mum's church wants to dissolve its alliance with the ABC, and my mother agrees.

She knows that many of my friends are gay and lesbian, athiests and witches, but she wants them to know that not all Baptists are complete morons and that she loves you no matter what.

Thanks, mum. You are so much smarter than you give yourself credit for.

Feel like Heck, Look like Hell - Sick again!

Morning, all...actually it's afternoon, isn't it. I'm hopped up on cold meds and feel like I have been hit by a bus full of midgets who are now dancing around in my head. Pissed off, too, because I had cruising right along with Chapter 11. Who knows, maybe I'll write better on a DayQuil rush.

Glad the response to chapter ten has been so possitive. And I can't wait to share with you everything that's in my head.

...except this cold. That's just not pretty.

Chapter 10 is up!

Chapter 10 of Remember Him is posted. Click here to read it or use the link on the right side bar. Hope you like it!

RH #10 later this morning!

Barring any unforeseen nuisances, I'll be posting Chapter 10 later this morning. I had said tomorrow, but I just realized its 1:40 a.m. Oops. Bedtime.

Can't wait to get your reactions!